At this time last year, I was in the middle of depression brought on by long, hard trials and was so angry at God, I hadn't picked up my Bible for almost a month. We had been waiting and waiting for the girls' birth parents to have their rights terminated. I had testified in court at the Termination of Parental Rights hearing, we had waited for the judge's decision with great hope and were overjoyed when the decision came back...parental rights had been terminated! We were finally going to be able to adopt these kids! There was a 30 day waiting period, during which time, the birth parents could file an appeal to this decision. No one really thought they would, and it was wonderful when we got to the 30th day and were told that there was no appeal and therefore, we could move forward with adoption. The kids were told that it was over and that they were going to be a part of our family forever.
Two days later, our world seemed to come crashing down around us when we received a call saying that there had been some mistake, the birth parents had in fact been able to file an appeal on the very last of the 30 days and it would be 6 months to a year before we knew what the ruling on the appeal would be. It was the trial that just would not end. Even now, my chest hurts just thinking about it. I was so angry, so weary, and very much doubting God's love and care for me. I couldn't sing to him. I wouldn't read his Word. As far as I was concerned, God had failed and the enemy had won. It was all I could do to drag myself out of bed in the morning and take care of the kids. But God, in His never failing love for me, sent friends to speak the gospel into my life. I was reminded of his faithfulness over and over again in the following months. Thankfully, I can now joyfully say:
12Blessed is the man whom you discipline, O LORD, and whom you teach out of your law, 13to give him rest from days of trouble, until a pit is dug for the wicked. 14For the LORD will not forsake his people; he will not abandon his heritage; 15for justice will return to the righteous, and all the upright in heart will follow it. 16Who rises up for me against the wicked? Who stands up for me against evildoers? 17If the LORD had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence. 18When I thought, “My foot slips,” your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up. 19When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.
Crossway Bibles (2011-02-09). The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (Kindle Locations 23942-23951). Crossway. Kindle Edition.
PSALM 92 It is good to give thanks to the LORD, to sing praises to your name, O Most High; 2to declare your steadfast love in the morning, and your faithfulness by night, 3to the music of the lute and the harp, to the melody of the lyre. 4For you, O LORD, have made me glad by your work; at the works of your hands I sing for joy. 5How great are your works, O LORD! Your thoughts are very deep! 6The stupid man cannot know; the fool cannot understand this: 7that though the wicked sprout like grass and all evildoers flourish, they are doomed to destruction forever; 8but you, O LORD, are on high forever.9For behold, your enemies, O LORD, for behold, your enemies shall perish; all evildoers shall be scattered. 10But you have exalted my horn like that of the wild ox; you have poured over me  fresh oil.
11My eyes have seen the downfall of my enemies; my ears have heard the doom of my evil assailants. 12The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. 13They are planted in the house of the LORD; they flourish in the courts of our God. 14They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, 15to declare that the LORD is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.
Crossway Bibles (2011-02-09). The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (Kindle Locations 23911-23920). Crossway. Kindle Edition.